So I busted open my exorcise DVDs the other night and probably made it halfway through the pilates mat exorcise…

So I took a rest yesterday.

2:30 rolled around so I fed Nadia and at 3 placed her in her swing and switched the TV to DVD and selected the express 25 min mat workout. I finished it at 3:35 (give or take 10 minutes depending on the clock) and Jim and Libby had walked through the door maybe 10 minutes before I was finished.

Normally Libby makes it home by 3:40 since school gets out at 3:30. I asked (between breaths) why she was home early (she looked a little too happy…?) and she chirped “I’m sick” and went to the back of the house.

Oh really? The kid who never gets sick even when I’ve had 3 sinus infections and Mark has been sick for a month but never notices it?

Jim had gone to pick her up from school and told me the brief story that at 3 o’clock she demanded to be sent home. He farted around then picked her up and told her that if she was sick she needed to shower and then go to bed. I had to laugh as Nadia coughed in her sleep. I pointed at her and said “that is sick”. OMG. Its interesting to live with a drama queen. I wonder what happened at school that made her want to go home early.

I do have to be a bit amazed that Nadia is doing so well. She laughs when she vomits, and now giggles when I suck the snot from her nose. I found a ginormous booger on her chin today that she must have coughed up at some point when I was exorcising. She was not phased. She was NOT happy last night at bed time, but some simethicone, Tylenol, music and cuddling put her to sleep. She woke up around 5 to nurse and have her diaper changed and was right back out again. At 9 she was rustling around and so I pulled her over to nurse some more lying down and she went right back to sleep. With a giant smile on her face. Jim chuckled over my shoulder at her bliss.

Ok, so enough baby goo I suppose. I have a good defense though. I watched a House episode that made my Mommy Hormones go haywire. It was just about everything I could do not to cry and vomit. I should know better now than to watch ANYTHING with an infant in it. I almost changed the channel, but I had to find out if the baby lived through the intro. It did only to die after its mom tried to kill him again in the hospital. Turned out that mom and baby had celiac disease…

It makes me very thankful that Nadia IS such a good baby, and I am pretty good at figuring out what is wrong with her, and what might help.  I can’t do anything for the sinus congestion or her cough because she is so little, but I can give her the tylenol and rub her sinuses to ease the pressure. I can also take a bath with her, or put her in her bouncer and steam of the bathroom with a hot hot shower. Makes us both feel good. Or I can sit in the bed with her having “me” time while she takes her afternoon nap.

There are times when I wish she could/would be happy to be held by someone else so I can get somethings done or knit (OMG, KNIT) for 30 minutes without her getting upset. OR get through an exorcise video in the actual time stated, not pause it because she flung her pacifier into the kitchen out of despair 9 times.

It is so wonderful to be needed by this child.

It made me realize that’s what I am missing with my other 2 children. I feel for them the same as I feel for Nadia. But they don’t need me. Either I came into their lives too late, or they learned early on that they had to do without needing. I hope someday that they will need me.

I did not knit a thing yesterday. I brought my sock to bed with me, and I even have Nadia’s shawl in the bed, but I napped instead. It felt good. I didn’t get enough sleep, but it was soothing. My shoulder feels like its being ripped off if I use it just so. I think I sprained the rotator cuff. I love this whole falling apart feeling. Yeah for Relaxin!

Well, I have a diaper to change and some knitting to get to… More later 🙂


About Elisa

Life changes. Its not easy. I have made a few U turns and found myself Home. Lets see how it goes and maybe throws in some knitting
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